The bridal registry. It’s a little like the letter to Santa with your Christmas wishes only much more public. Some brides to be enjoy the whole process of picking dishes, linens and fine china. I was a bit overwhelmed and uncomfortable with the whole process. Although once we began to receive gifts that were not on our registry I soon began to see why you would want to let people know your colors, style and tastes. The odd burnt orange vase i would have passed by at a garage sale, sculptures of various little animals or the endless supply of salad bowls began to pile up. But one unexpected gift not on my bridal registry has proven to be the best one even after 29 years of marriage. It has brought tears, joy, anger, conflict, laughter, long walks and talks over and over. A set of golf clubs.
My uncle Mike was and is, even at the age of 79, an avid golfer. He knew more than I how important it would be for me to learn to play, appreciate and love the game. You see I was engaged to a golf professional. The clubs came with this advice, “if you’re gonna’ marry him, you’re gonna’ need these”.
In 7th grade gym class my school was on the cutting edge of an experiment in wellness and lifetime fitness. In the spring semester we were given the choice to participate in running track or take golf lessons.. Being the non runner that i was it seemed like an obvious choice. I joined 7 other girls ready to try anything, as long as it did not include running, on the driving range. We learned enough in 6 weeks that we were allowed out on the golf course for our first nine-hole round. Somewhere between the 95 degree heat, 30mph wind, countless swings and a bought of poison ivy I lost my potential to love the game. I gave up my short try at golf. But 10 years later the game came packaged differently in my fiancé and I fell in love with both.
A set of clubs, bag and golf shoes were the perfect wedding gift. The original gift has been replaced over the years by newer models but they still bring us together after going our separate ways throughout the week with jobs, friends, commitments or interests. They have brought a shared experience, fun and pass time to our marriage. A couple I know married 40+ years sail together. Neither had ever been sailing when they met but they knew they wanted something that they could learn and enjoy for a lifetime. Each year they spend countless hours together sailing the gulf of Mexico. Early in our marriage we read the book, His Needs Her Needs, and it suggested finding a shared recreational outlet to continue to build friendship into our relationship. This has been a good piece of advice over our 29 years together. Sailing for some, cooking for others, golf for us.
And golf it will be. And in Scotland, no less. I’ll be reflecting from there the homeland of golf on the sites, the game, the food and anything else that comes along. Check back in a wee bit.